Since my first day of menstruation I struggled with great pain and it never ever left or got better. My mom was at her wits end what to do with me and our fabulous GP did all he could do for me. I was born in Texas, have German parents and moved around a lot during my life. I came to Belgium in ’89 for a job and met an Flemish boy, fell in love and stayed.
We’ve been married now for 25 years and from the very beginning, Thomas has also seen me suffer with dreadful pains. And once we wanted to start a family, things just got so much more complicated from thereon. LUCKILY, my gynaecologist did recognise the symptoms (as a pregnancy was not happening naturally) and so I had two small OP’s for endometriosis before starting fertilisation treatment. Approximately eight years into ‘trying’ to become pregnant, I had another great doctor who then said to me…’how MUCH do you really want to invest into having your own children?’ as he was relatively sure I had adenomyosis. With Thomas having bad/almost no good swimmers and me possibly adenomyosis (we were in fact made for each other :-))…our chances of ever having children of our own were very, very slim and we were both not up to investing EVERYTHING (and I don’t mean money) to become pregnant at all costs. I had one miscarriage very early on with IVF and that was enough for me.
Emotionally, mentally and physically. We were happy together, enjoying life and…what is…that is. I know, having spoken to many other woman, that I am a bit of an exception to feel like this, but I am very thankful that I never was depressed or frustrated about this fact. Then…years went by, pains got worse, bleedings started and nothing seemed to help, not even ANOTHER small OP for endo. My mom begged me for years to get an hysterectomy as she saw how much I was suffering but…somehow…in the back of your head…you still have this small voice saying, ‘Miracles do happen.’ Then elven years ago, when I turned 42, enough was enough.
I approached my gynaecologist and asked if a hysterectomy might be the best solution in my case and she was relieved that I had brought this up myself as indeed…this WAS the only solution in my case. I’ve read that many woman feel so much worse after an hysto as they then know for a fact that they no longer are able to have children or some even experience problems during intercourse. BUT in my case…it was/is HEAVEN!!!! FINALLY….NO pains, tears, awful sex, endless discussions with my lovely husband what to do next or how to help me, no bleedings etc, etc, etc. A new world had opened up for me/us and I even thought, ‘Dam, I should’ve done this earlier!’ 🙂
But…endo is a mean old bastard and it came back to haunt me again…UNBELIEVABLE! About 5-6 years after my hysto I started having pains and bleedings again, often during intercourse. So again, a new doctor (sadly, mine had passed away) and more check-ups. Turns out, endo was back and had grown onto my bowel! Again, I was very, very lucky to have two great doctors to perform a dual operation and they didn’t even have to cut out a piece of my bowel (which was not entirely sure before the OP). After that I started taking the pill as my gyno didn’t know if the endo came back because they had missed a spot during the hysto or if it was hormonal. About 2 years ago I decided, together with my GP, to stop taking the pill as with then 51 (now 53) my blood work showed that I was pretty close to the menopause and I just wanted to stop it all.
So now I live my life happily and in the HOPE that endo will leave me alone!!! Fingers crossed!!!
